Worries kill the apple tree

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

I once shared in my happy circle, a status I read from FB. " No amount of guilt can change the past, no amount of worry can change the future. What's important is what we do now."
Saying is easy. What's harder is doing.
I have this habit. I've had it since I can remember. My mom knows about it. It's one of the things that I do that people recognizes.

I worry too much.

I remember taking one of the books from my home's library..yeah, we have our own mini library at home. The book's called How To Stop Worrying and Start Living. I've had it with me since 1st year, if I'm not mistaken. To this day, it remains unread.

i HAVE to start reading this

Just got back from a happy circle, with whom I shared what has been bugging me these few months.
I'm scared. I really am. I'm scared of the future, of what might be.

If all your life you've been seeing a barrel of apples with worms in them, chewing them away, you get scared. You don't know what the owner of that barrel of apple did wrong. He planted them right, he kept the water and sunshine fine, he picked the best barrel. But, there must be something he did wrong, that made the apples rot away into nothingness like that. He didn't know what he did wrong. You saw him gave all his time, his energy and care to that apple tree, but even you can't figure out what went wrong. And, gosh, it did. It went painfully wrong.
        
So, you get scared. You don't dare plant an apple tree, because you're scared you might go wrong too.  Because some things you just don't have control over.You can't bear the thought of being that barrel of apple owner, facing that heartbreak. The stress of knowing the right thing to do is to let go of that fear and move on, but at the same time the fear is chewing at your memories, at your insecurities, chaining your feet to the ground...it kills you.

one little two little three little apples~

What it takes is courage; the courage to accept the fact that things can go wrong and sometimes do go wrong, the courage to acknowledge that and still follow through with what you plan to do.

Hugging that courage tightly to your heart as you face the thunder and rain, just pray to Allah that everything's gonna be fine. Please, please let everything be fine. Pray that everything will be fine. The only other thing to do now is to make sure you've learnt enough gardening skills, grab a handful of apple seeds and find your way to the field. Cos, honey, ...... you've got an apple tree to plant.

Happiness + Apples = Happles....So cute!